Ok i have had problems with my lovely time of the month since i started birth control 4 years ago when i got off of birth control my period wpuld come when ever the heck it felt like one month would be 30 days the next qould be 20 the next could be 40 or even 60 some times and yes some of you may think 60 days heck ya!!! On top of that i never ever ever have cramps like ever when i do they are so unbearable i want to cry
Well i went in for that lovely once a year viset to see my doc and talk to her about what was going on she said there was a good chance i was not ovulating in other words not dropping an egg that with my neurofibromatosis my chances of getting pregnant were like a zero if i was not ovulating so we had made another appointment for me to come in three weeks and talk about my options to help get me pregnant wellll....m
the last part of January 2016 i found out I was pregnant i was so excited!!! It put me due in November i was so excited i could not keep it to my slef witch looking back i wish i had but this being my first time i was ecstatic about it!!! Lake well he said he was but im sure on the inside he was freeking out. Well i went in and she confirmed i was pregnant!!! To early to tell how far i was but that i was pregnant i was over the moon!!!! I have wanted to be a mom for ever i love kids so they took some blod work and sent me on my way they had set up another appointment for me to hear the heart beat on my birthday march 30th i thought o that will be an AMAZING gift =) anf told me my due date would be end of november!!! A Turkey baby!!
The weekend before the 30 i woek up that sat and was bleeding....my heart sanke i knew something was wrong i of corse did the stuped thing and googled what could be wrong (dont do it laddys its not worth the freeking out) well i called the office and well they are closed on sat so i left a message and cryed my eyes out because even though i had never even heard it's heart beat mine was braking i knew something was wrong....i wanted my mom more then anything and she was gone for two weeks.....
Well after the longest frweking weekend of my life Monday morning came and the office called me and wanted me to come in asap....i went in after i got off work and they confirmed my fears....i had lost it...i was devastated...i still am its taken me 5 6 months to write this yes i know i was not that far along yes i know o never heard a heart beat but i still had a baby and its now gone.
Its so hard for me to see other people pregnant or announced that they are pregnant or haveing new babys my sister just had a baby and it kills me how much i want to hold her and it just hurts to much to know that i would of been haveing mine in a few months....
Misscarage sucks no matter how far along you arw to have that overwhelming excitement about being a firat time mom only to have it ripped away sucks it hurts i dont know if its ever going to stop hurting....i will never know what that little person was going to be ...was it a boy was it a girl would she look like me would he look like lake???....
I know they say you should not say what if thos what if that.... but its so hard not to its so hard not to imagine what that little person would have beeb like
My only advice to you is dont take some one who has had a misscarage hurt and pain as if they will get over it its been 6 months for me and i still cry every time i see some one say they are pregnant i cant help but think what did i do that is so wrong that i could not be a mom at this point on my life what are they doing that im not???
Misscarage sucks in ever form weather it be a few weeks or even a few months pregnant a misscarage is a misscarage and it hurta no mater what stage your at ....
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