So growing up I have always had a very very hard time leting go of things that have made me mad or hurt me..... just not very good at letting go of things or telling my feelings not that any one would every lyson to me when i was younger high school age.. and I always worried about other Peoples trouble before me so i just put it on the back burrner and let it simmer tell it over flows and I snap and bawl over nothing...
high school for me though I have not addmited it to manny people High school was hell for me I hated it so much!!! Yes I had my friends though at sometimes I felt like more of a pest to them then any thing and no one really wanted to hear about my problems so I hid them in side and worred about other people putting other people's hurts and worries before any of mine..... high school for me was tourtcher..... I may have never addmited this to any of my friends but there were plenty of times were i wanted to hurt my self but was so worried about the pian of others that I could not bring my self to do anything. ...... there were a few well more then half of guys in are graduating class that made my life hell! I really could choak all of them and be happy! Yes I know not nice but they don't get to treat me that way and think that is ok..... I have not given it a lot of thought since grad night but when we got are 5year on facebook all those emochions came fludding back. I have changed so much since then but when i saw that on facebook I got sick. I sat there thinking who I could sick my husband on letting him beat the crap out of the people who I hated in school. I look at me then and now. And I'm not the same fat girl i was but I still don't know if I even want to go to are school reunion I do i want to see the people that were not ass holes but the bad out weighs the good at this point. ..... I know i did just let it go but 4years of high school and 2 years of middle school is a lot and 5 years away from them is not enuf to forget how they made me fill.
I feel that they shood appologies to me for the things they sad and did to me but that's like asking fish not to swim...... never going to haPpen they still as big as ass holes as they were then....
I know i shood let it go but it's so hard for me to forgive people who have said things and dun things to hurt me. ..... I make these story up in my head and then I get even madder then I was before.
I don't think i will go. Lake wants to so he can punch any one that made me fill that way but i don't want to get him I'm trouble because i know he could beta tee crisp out of every one of them. .... I knew i don't have to talk to them but seeing them is morw then emuf to piss me off.
I know I need to just let it go but i just have such a hard time
